Weariness

During the days of my son's illness, we were incredibly blessed to see God deliver little Brent from the point of death and bring him back to wholeness. It was an undeniable miracle. We also saw friends that we made there experience a miracle similar to ours when their son was about to lose his life. And we saw third family whom we befriended make it through a really bad situation with their son as well. We were all Christian believers who prayed for one another and had many others praying for us as well.

However, now, after those days, I have seemed to enter another era. Over the past year or two, I have gone from one case to another of praying for kids who have been in dire straits. I can count about 7 of these cases. Most of them were for kids I only knew indirectly through someone else. Nevertheless, I have had strong feelings of compassion for their situations and had earnestly prayed for miracles and deliverance daily over months. In each case, however, the kids did not survive.

This has been very difficult for me. Why did God bring them into my life and move me to pray and become emotionally caught up in the hope of their deliverance? And in each case, after months of praying, not see God answer my prayers nor the prayers of many others who were praying for them?

This has left me weary and grieving. Why would God not answer my earnst prayers? Now I feel as though I do not want to hear about any more bad news because it takes such a toll on my faith and trust in the Lord. If I had only seen one of those children saved I would be encouraged to continue to pray for others.

Perhaps, I should not have hope in earthly deliverance and just resign myself to the fact that many times, earthly healings are not going to happen. And just look to hope of the life to come in which God's full goodness will be fully manifested forever to the recipients of his salvation. Yet my heart aches for those parents who are dealing with immeasurable pain at the loss of their children. My prayer now is that they be greatly comforted by the presence of the Lord and that their pain will turn into the depth of beauty in their spirit.

I really need this exhortation from Scripture:

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

I join the with Psalmist and pray:

"Give me a sign of your goodness, that my enemies may see it and be put to shame, for you, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me." -Psalm 86:17